Ten essential things to do when you separate

Life after divorce can be many things, depending on the situation. It can be a relief, It can be sad or any number of other emotional upsets. Every divorce is different and personal. Regardless of the feelings that arises after divorce, every divorce must find a method of moving on after divorce.

1.You need to give yourself some "alone time"

Cope with the loss, regardless of who initiated the divorce. Venting anger can be healthy, but only if you do not take out your frustrations over the divorce on your friends and family. Once a divorce is over, you need to be fully recharged emotionally - this is the first step to having a fresh start.

2. Focus on the good memories of your marriage

Put the negative ones behind you. Dwelling on the past and wishing for what might have been are not conducive to a healthy future. You can't bring back the past - always remember this, regardless of how happy (or unhappy) your marriage may have been. Think about the future and how bright it could be.

3. Many people find it helpful to rebuild themselves physically after a divorce.

Nothing too drastic, but a new hairstyle or hair color, a new wardrobe, new exercise routine or just a day spoiling yourself at a health spa can help you feel more confident and relaxed.

4.Turn to your family and friends productively.

Your friends and family will help you by being there to hear you vent your anger, offering a shoulder to cry on, and getting you out and about. And once they give you advice, take them up on their word as it would most likely be something productive and something for your benefit.

5.Enjoy single life when the time is right!

It's perfectly understandable to be down at first and not want to enjoy life with your friends like you used to. But don't be down in the dumps for too long or you might end up a miserable recluse! Go out, meet new people, do new things, and live your life. Once you feel that the time is right to start dating again, do so with zest and a positive outlook, and don't be hesitant to entertain someone who might end up as your next partner. There will be many nights when you just want to crawl under the covers, but they will lessen, and you must move on.

6.Much of the divorce recovery process for people will depend on the length and depth of their marriages.

That includes discovering life alone after divorce. Given enough time, it feels impossible to live without someone to whom you were married. After divorce, reconnect with your own individuality. Spend time doing things you love to do.

7.Divorce recovery for people does not necessarily mean erasing all traces of their marriages.

During the course of a marriage, men change and grow. Some of these changes are positive and should be embraced. Therefore, it is important not to try to become the person you were before your marriage, but to find out who you will be in your life after divorce.

8. Avoid notable things that remind you of your divorcee.

Some of the emotions of divorce may make it difficult to go familiar places and see people that bring up thoughts of the marriage, whether they are negative or happy. Initially, it helps to avoid these places and people until life has become fulfilling enough again to buffer those difficulties. Later, start seeing those people and going to those places again so life after divorce does not entail hiding.

9.Talking to other people

Talking is a major healing mechanism for the emotional pain of divorce. Start by talking about the divorce with sympathetic friends and family. Discuss anything you are thinking or feeling. When you are done getting it all out, start talking about unrelated things. Eventually, conversation will serve as a distraction. Finally, these conversations will go back to normal. You will not feel the need to distract yourself.

10.A particularly difficult divorce can leave a person feeling lonely, depressed and unable to function.

The automatic reaction would be to wallow in self-pity. Do not do that. Continue your life after divorce. Go to work. Go to parties. Go to family events. Celebrate holidays and birthdays. Seek professional help if you need to, but do not give up.

If you wish to talk to one of our cairns family lawyers, please contact us today!

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